My Secret garden

Many times growing up hearing “we are not of this world” I never completely understood the fullness of that. I knew I loved Jesus and one day I would go to heaven. I remember listening to Toby Macs song “I got a ticket” which I loved that I had a ticket but what do I do in the mean time? Even now I’m 28 and so many times when I don’t surrender me to the fullness of who Jesus is all that i am is waiting for my ticket instead of walking in my purpose. Maybe what you’re wondering is what is my purpose? Our purpose is to be that light while we’re in these earth suits. We’re gonna have to daily come against those moments where we want to fight what we’re in here and now because we are Citizens of the Heaven here on earth. I’m gonna keep it 100 with you all more times than not i’m more human than i am a citizen of heaven. Yet I am determined I will be that citizen of heaven who is loosed here to bring Him glory!

I saw this episode of Hawkeye and there is a scene with a girl and her dad told her.. she will be able to live in both worlds. And ever since I saw that I loved what he shared because thats exactly what were doing here. We are living in both worlds in this time right now. 

You see we live in both Worlds but we can’t belong to both worlds we have to decide which world we will be a member of. 

Something one of my friends shared with me is a lot of times were not citizens of heaven were only visitors of heaven. Don’t make the mistake to believe because we still have an earthly suit that youre not apart of heaven because as His children we have this authority to bring heaven here to earth. And heaven hovers just above us. Its not far away but many times our Priorities are all over the place, so one day we could be all for what God wants us to do but when we wake up that went out the door.

My Pastor shares it like this in His devotional book.

“Dr. Cho shared that there were times when he went to bed with the greatest faith in the world, but when he was sleeping at night it was like his faith grew wings and flew away. This implied that he needed extra effort to keep faith alive in his spirit.”

Excerpt From

Declarations of Power for 365 Days of the Year

Cesar Castellanos

So you see how important it is to take care of our Spiritual life because many times we remember we have ticket to heaven, but we don’t live as if we are in love with him and thats where our purpose is found. I can know I love and believe in Jesus with all my heart yet still wandering around not grounded because my purpose is secured in the presence of God not in the practice of something good. Friends I want to be so madly in love with Him that i see hi through everything I do especially my relationships here in earth. I want to be that citizen of heaven who is walking in her freedom daily because I cast away the care of this world and I’m only living for Heaven. So really I’m operating in both world yet I’ve made a choice that my number one priority is Him above all else!!!

so the other day I was reading John 21 and came across this popular verse…

‘Jesus replied, “If I decide to let him live until I return, what concern is that of yours? You must still keep on following me!”’ John 21:22

our purpose is to keep on following not to be concerned to the left or the right in comparison. We need to keep living for heaven Kingdom and become one with Jesus is a beautiful intimacy.

The Christian Life is all about a relationship with Him. It’s all about your heart aligned with His. So as I rest in Him I find the ultimate Peace. I know the enemy wants me to remain weak but I’m not giving Him credit anymore from stealing from me i’m living not in waiting to go to heaven but in my purpose here on earth to to walk with Jesus and bring Him in everything. So Priorities in 2022 has to be Jesus!!! I love you all see you next year!!!❤️

CITIZENS OF HEAVEN XOXO!!!

Yes yes you guessed it I google translated that title haha. The reason why I wrote this is because my declaration of faith before the year ends and walking soon into 2022 is “I’m a house of miracles” and in Spanish according to google translate “Casa de los milagros” means house of miracles! So before I get into anything more take a minute and give Jesus some praise because “you are a house of miracles”. Plus my dad always told me Spanish is the language of heaven haha so I better get on it right?! 🥳

Clearly it’s the night before Christmas and I was thinking of this season but also the next season we’re stepping into which is the year 2022. We are all generational so I want us to declare that no matter what has happened that we are a house of miracles because Emmanuel is here with us. Actually the name Emmanuel is one of the many beautiful names of God which is one of my favorites because it means “God with us” and “ever present”. The name Emmanuel was given when Mary was prophesied over by an angel who visited her and told her she would be pregnant with the Son of God. Let’s read the verse below.

“Behold, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel–which, when translated, means, God with us. [Isa. 7:14.]”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1:23‬ ‭AMPC‬‬

As you can see there it is in the Book of Truth. So I love this story because it also tells a story of a ordinary women becoming pregnant. I want to break this down a little bit. Pregnancy also represent new life but also while you’re pregnant your body for those 9 months becomes a House for that baby. So not only did Mary say “yes” but she became a house of the miracles of all miracles Jesus also known as “Emmanuel” (God with us)! How incredible is that? Because we are His children our lives here in earth and in heaven is a “House of Miracles”. Yea that’s right that’s you! You carry within you a miracle of new life because Jesus is living on the inside of you. If you’ve never had the delight of accepting Jesus to come be that wonderful miracle inside of you all the time you can do it now!

Say this simple prayer with me: Jesus please come live inside of me. I want your wonderful miracle of life to transform who I am. I want your winder on the inside of Me, because through your I know that I’m a house of miracles for my generation not just for me. Amen 🙏🏼

There you have it anyone who said the prayer you have Jesus the miracle living on the inside of you now! For those of you who already have that miracle inside of you we will declare that this Christmas season we’re gonna carry to the next generation the house of miracles. We carry miracle transformed hearts because of the life of Jesus. Just like Mary we are pregnant with that miracle of life. We are a house of the wonder of Jesus! Merry Christmas everyone I love you all!

When i originally thought of a title for this blog it was “I don’t want to rush this” thats something I’ve been saying when the Lord is continuing to pour out in me. However those are for the moments I want to be there. What do I do when those moments I’m just not feeling it? Because everything is good when its good right? I think the Word is a continual washing of my sprit a constant cleansing. So I can’t afford to Rush this time. Yes there are moments I don’t want to be there i’m so full of emotion that i don’t want to sing I want to flee. I want to run, but I hear my spirit say “You can’t afford to Rush this”.

Even as I write this my heart is so tender because I don’t just rush my time, but I Rush the Revelation. I rush the understanding part of being with Jesus. Wouldn’t it be so much better for me to just be with Him instead of blaming others for why I can’t be with Him? Even in this time I’m learning me in His hands and I can’t rush that. What he’s saying to me its there and I need to just wait on it. Some days it feels like I was making strides with God and other days it’s like I took five steps back or even more. Everyday I don’t rush Jesus its like I’m seeing for the very first time something new. He opens my eyes, my ears and my heart. Faith works by Love. So when I go to that place to be with Him what good does it for for me to get frustrated.

‘Then the Pharisees asked the man, “How did you have your sight restored?” He replied, “A man anointed my eyes with clay, then I washed, and now I can see for the first time in my life!”’ John 9:15

I wanted to share that verse above because I can imagine how lost this blind man could’ve been when he desired His whole life to see and he couldn’t from birth, then one day Jesus comes and gives Him his sight. I Love how the passion says it “Now I can see for the first time in my life”. Imagine what getting away with God does when he washes you over that even if you’ve read that verse before or that chapter when you soak in it, it becomes like seeing for the first time in your Life.

So I want to declare his word. Lets read this out loud!

‘Your magnificent splendor and the miracles of your majesty are my constant meditation. Your awe-inspiring acts of power have everyone talking! I’m telling people everywhere about your excellent greatness! Our hearts bubble over as we celebrate the fame of your marvelous beauty, bringing bliss to our hearts . We shout with ecstatic joy over your breakthrough for us. You’re kind and tenderhearted to those who don’t deserve it and very patient with people who fail you. Your love is like a flooding river overflowing its banks with kindness. God, everyone sees your goodness, for your tender love is blended into everything you do. Everything you have made will praise you, fulfilling its purpose. And all your godly ones will be found bowing before you.’ Psalms 145:5-10

This is the kind of joy that we receive when we are able to be there when we don’t want to , or even when we want to. So often we Rush into the next thing instead of just waiting and allowing God to speak to us. I always think i’m being patient and then there is more time added and really I could’ve waited a bit longer. So my encouragement to everyone and even to myself is we can’t afford to Rush what God is doing on the inside of us. He’s creating the right words so that when we speak its Joy. I know that I’ll make many mistakes, and I won’t be perfect, but I do need to trust that His word is truth and as long as I remain in His hands everyday with Him will be like i’m seeing for teh first time. Everything that will come out of my Mouth will be Life giving and praise worthy.

“love is directly opposed to the senses. They have been trained to selfishly seek their own way. But love, The WORD says, does not seek its own rights or its own way. And to walk in love, you must demand that your senses––your flesh—be subject to The WORD.”

Excerpt From
Limitless Love
Kenneth Copeland & Gloria Copeland

My blog to you all is speaking to me before it speaks to you all i’m just letting you in my journal, i’m learning to trust and make Gods word my final authority and honestly I can’t afford to Rush the work he’s doing in me.

Have you ever woke up in the morning and just fetl…off? It’s almost like a tugging in your gut…telling you that you missed something or that something was out of place. I woke up a few days ago and I thought to myself, “Hmmm maybe I got it backwards.” Immediately I knew I needed to have a discussion with myself. The Holy Spirit had been speaking to me and I needed to sit up and listen. I needed to change my posture. In my time with Jesus that morning our Word of Life devotional, Free & Fearless, spoke loudly to my spirit. It was just one of those moments when you’re like “ahhhh…I get it now. WOW! I can see it! Snap!”

Those are such incredible kinds of moments to me because when they hit, it all starts coming together. God takes you back to your Original place where it’s just you and Him. It’s an alignment of your spirit back to the Father. In that exact moment, you are who He needs you to be. Your posture is aligned with His purpose for your life. But those moments don’t come easy. They can be painful. It’s like when you go to the chiropractor and they need to adjust your back because the posture is off. It can be painful in that moment and the more you fight it, the more damage can be done! I’ve gone through some merry-go-rounds with Him over the years because I constantly resisted on my end. Let me tell you–there is NOTHING merry about it! However, the fact remains–God is ALWAYS good. 

I want to share a little bit about what’s been going on with me lately, and maybe you can relate. See as this quarantine began, I was lowkey excited! I thought to myself, “ohhh yeah more time with my family and with people I love!” However, that quickly took a turn. Some of you may have read my last two blogs so you know what’s up. God was strippig a lot of things about my physical appearance. Things that I thought I needed in my life like my iconic lash extensions or my long acrylic nails. All of these characteristics that I thought made me “beautiful.” It’s just like the enemy to lie to us like that and tempt us to “live in the lie”. The thing that’s so dangerous is sometimes you don’t know it’s a lie and you think it’s the reality. When you begin to become familiar, you drift further and further from the Heart of God. But the goodness of God extends to His guidance and correction of our actions. He never fails to continue beckoning us back to Him. Trust me, I was hearing the voice of God telling me that I needed to release certain habits and feelings. At the same time, I was not holding on to His promise for my life or trusting Him. Let me tell you this–when we don’t trust in Jesus, we don’t have peace. That discomfort is what leads us back to the old because our spirit knows something is missing, so it looks for something to settle it. We need to understand, however, that the old can make everything even worse when we don’t have Jesus in the middle. Why? Because we know who we are and we let the “feel” (this is a big one) become more important than the trust! When we don’t give in to what we “feel,” we’re able to get back to who He’s called us to be. 

The reality is that we can get there quickly, but TRULY when the Bible tells us to  “renew our mind”…we need to do it! A common phrase we’ve hard recently is “essential workers” or “essential jobs.” Well renewing your mind is an “ESSENTIAL,” because when your mind changes it speaks to your heart and your heart speaks to your soul which is your whole body. As you can clearly see they are all intertwined! 

Family, believe me when I tell you–God was chipping away at my heart. He began from day one of quarantine and it was a battle because I was hyper focused on myself. Even when I would try to do things for others, it would still translate into selfishness. I’m thankful for the people God has placed in my life who won’t lie to me (even when I want them to LOL!) and they remind me of who I really am. I want to encourage you to be around those people who see who you really are. Those that tell you, “listen, you’re already beautiful but with Jesus nothing even compares!” I’m writing this blog to share with you that as much as you don’t want to admit to yourself “I was wrong” or relieve the pain in your life…it’s necessary to go there for your COMPLETE healing. Let God work on “every body part.” This means that you need to allow healing into the places you don’t remember.  Those things that just fester and never gets taken out from deep inside of you. 

Let’s read this verse together:

“Mercy kissed me, even though I used to be a blasphemer, a persecutor of believers, and a scorner of what turned out to be true. I was ignorant and didn’t know what I was doing.” 

1 Timothy 1:13 TPT

Reading this scripture, I’m reminded of aunty’s instagram post. Some of you might know her as Kellie Copeland AKA “Commander Kellie.” She’s been such an example of complete surrender to Jesus for me. She’s completely open to whatever He wants to do in her life. She shared this verse on her page and as soon as I read it, it completely wrecked me to pieces. God was still chipping away at my heart all night and into the next morning when I saw a video of how humanity was being treated! It completely tore me up! 

So maybe you’re asking “Lexi, where are you going with this?”  Well,I believe God wants to get you to your MOST beautiful posture–the posture of your purpose. We are taken back to that light and pulled back into the arms of the Father as we read this verse together: 

“But if we keep living in the pure light that surrounds Him, we share unbroken fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, continually cleanses us from all sin.”

1 John 1:7 TPT

The main thing that I want you to take away is that we need to go back to The Original. We must allow Him to show us HIS purpose and trust HIS voice in everything. The more we’re about Jesus the less we are about our selves and the closer we are to the posture of purpose.

Hey whats up everyone! How have you all been during this season of quarantine?

During this time, I’ve been thinking about what “beauty” means to me. Now traditionally when we hear the term “beauty,” we think of the whole works— makeup, lashes, skincare and of course our overall physical appearance. Now ladies, this blog is especially for you. Yes, YOU!

I guess the first question I’ve been asking myself is—when do we start believing we are beautiful?

Is it the first time someone calls us “beautiful”? Or do people constantly need to remind us?

My entire life, I’ve been struggling to grasp this concept. But the most important thing I need to remember to believe is the truth. The truth is what God says about me.

This very simple verse strengthens me in understanding beauty:

“Under His wings you will find refuge.”

— Psalm 91:1

One of the most important things I’ve come to understand is that I am constantly covered under HIS refuge. No matter what. Even now when I don’t have my nails done. When I don’t have my signature lash extensions anymore. When everything looks like the T-Rex chasing the Jeep in Jurassic Park—“Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.” Way too close for comfort. They’re magnified x1000!

Not gonna lie to you guys, I was the one that came up with this brilliant idea to take my lashes off. I’ve been wanting to do it for a while but it’s been a serious fear for me because I would have to see myself every single day. And it’s so uncomfortable. As I write this, we are currently in day 1 of no lash extensions. On the real—I’m strugglin! I came downstairs after having them removed and every single person in my family stopped me saying “whoa you have no lashes!” I was like “ughhh come on guys!” I feel like I can’t get mad at anyone because they’re just reacting to something new. I can’t control what other people say about the way I look or how I feel when they have the right to an opinion. Girl, that’s the TRUTH! However, what I CAN change is the way that I decide to view myself. I want to see myself as being under His Refuge, carried in His arms, and bathed in His wrap around presence. Honestly there are some days I feel so incredibly beautiful and other days I don’t but the fact remains that Jesus created me in His image and my eternal journey is to believe what he says about me. That’s where beauty comes from. Ladies, I ask you this—“What does beauty mean to you?”

I’ve posed this question to a few of my friends.

My friend Siai said this:

“What is true beauty?

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male & female He created them.

Beauty exists not because of what we wear, the brand of make up we put on or the talent we have. Beauty exists because of WHO we represent- God the Creator. If you read in Genesis, you will see that after EVERY creation, God stepped back and said IT IS GOOD!

He didn’t say “let me redo that one or oops I made a mistake.” He approved of EVERYTHING&EVERYONE He made and called us GOOD!

I pray that the next time we define beauty, we would know that WE are the image of beauty because we are the image of God! May every insecurity be put on the shelf, may every negative voice of the enemy be silenced and may we find our confidence in God alone because it is HE that we represent!”

She’s the pastor of Great Life Church in LV with her husband and I love her perspective!

Also some words from my lovely friend

Jazzy. She has the most beautiful heart—here’s what she had to say:

“Beauty in my eyes is a quality that is in EVERY man & woman because of the fact of what Gods word says in Genesis 1:27, we were made in His image. It is not defined by material things or physical appearance, but it starts in your heart, mind, and spirit. It is a joyful, graceful, humble, & confident state. It is LOVE. It is God in our hearts because He is love, and by knowing our creator is knowing we are his masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10. We are all definitions of beauty. ✨”

Now for my other dear Friend some know her as Channy boo cakes from her instagram but I call her my belly laugh buddy! Here are her words here! Love her so much! Enjoy!

“Growing up, I’ve always been conditioned to believe that beauty was the way that something looked. Everything needed to appear ‘put together.’ A great outfit. Flawless skin. Healthy hair that shines in the sun. While those things are still aesthetically pleasing, how is beauty truly defined?

The biggest struggle I’ve had with beauty is viewing myself as beautiful no matter what. That struggle has mostly been with my weight. It’s something I deal with every single day. The argument that being the biggest girl in the group means I won’t get noticed by guys as anything more than ‘the cool girl’ or ‘the funny girl’ and not as a girl who’s beautiful. But you know what? I’ve come to understand that beauty is reflected in the way something shines below the surface of our skin and the way we carry ourselves. It’s displayed in the way we love. It reflects in the condition of our hearts. If Jesus lives there, what could be more beautiful?! He is the very definition of love, and beauty will shine through our hearts without us needing to put in an ounce of effort. Has it always been easy? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I still deal with arguments on the daily, but I always strive to come back to the heart of the matter—and that’s beauty.

Xoxo Channy”

What can you take away about what’s written here?

What I took away is…

God always looks at us and says “hmmm it is good” from Siai he says we are good and we are loved it’s deeper for Him then just the surface and the root to that simple fact is this he created you and he creates what is pleasing to Him!

Second take away from Jazzy is the beauty being something that comes from the inside not the outside. Having an incredible time in the presence of God and soaking there! I believe that’s what she’s been doing and I can see that’s all over her because she glows!

Third person, and third take away from Channy is this… being someone who has also struggled with my weight I heavily relied on my face being the thing that people liked. My dimple in my face my lashes and having the nice outfit even if I was bigger. What I see Is the Love of God she hears and that’s the first opinion she goes to and it’s not Cocky like yeah I’m pretty and whatever I don’t care but it’s a freedom that comes from Jesus daily and that’s what I believe Channy was talking about!

So this encouraged me and I pray and hope it encourages you too!!!!

My entire life, I’ve always seen through a specific type of lens. I think many of us end up looking through whatever lens our particular season hands us. If you’re like me you, then you have the tendency to shift lenses. But seeing everything through the same narrow lens day in and day out is what can keep us fixed in the same spot for far too long! In order to grow and change we need to make adjustments to lens we’re looking through 👓! However, there is one lens we cannot ever compromise—it’s the Jesus Lens. The Jesus Lens is how The Father views us and it’s how we were created—in His likeness and image. Let me explain.

I wanna get real with you about the lens that I’ve been looking through lately. Actually, I hear so many people have the tendency to use the same one and it’s called “comparison.” A song I’ve been mediating on recently is called “Comparison Kills” and it has really been speaking to me! To be honest, I’ve been using the lens of comparison more often than I ever realized. Here’s some of the backstory on when I first realized it:

In December of last year, so many people would ask me “hey do you wanna workout.” I would quickly reply, “ahhhh nooooo that’s gonna be a hard pass!” One of my friends actually asked me why I didn’t want to work out and I got so upset! Without me even knowing it, my friend hit a soft spot simply by asking me that little three letter word that I never wanted to answer—“WHY?”

It all comes down to being stretched and feeling those growing pains. I didn’t want to reveal the true reason—that I was scared and that it was too embarrassing for me to run the risk of looking stupid in the gym because it’s unfamiliar territory for me. But this year? I knew it was something that my body needed so I started to go to the gym with my friend Jess. When we went together, I felt comfortable with her. But how many of us know that God doesn’t do “comfortable”? He wants us to grow and in order to grow, we need to step out of our comfort zone! When I made the decision to take on step, I gave the Holy Spirit permission to have His way and continue stretching me. How did He do that? By leading my boyfriend to ask me to workout with him. Oh-em-gee! Ladies, I don’t know about you, but for me—working out in front of my man is a challenge and a half! Naturally, I was like thinking “I’ll tell him yes but we really won’t be able to do it because our schedules won’t work” HAHA! Well guess what? God had something else in mind.

Something I really wanted was for my boyfriend to come with me on a trip to Bogotá, Colombia 🇨🇴 with people from our church and my family. I knew it was going to be such an incredible time for both of us spiritually and I believed it would help us to grow together. The whole time I was thinking of other areas God would allow me to grow in—not the one I’d been avoiding. 😏 Oh, man! I was just thinking like a normal girl “the boy I like is coming on this trip with me and the stretching won’t be painful we’re gonna worship Jesus and be in that place” Well, guess what one of the first things my boyfriend says to me; “Let’s workout together” 😳 Immediately I started sweating. My forehead was sweating and I was even getting that upper lip sweat—you know the kind! I was thinking “ughhhhh whyyyy!!” It’s not like there was a way to escape. I mean we wouldn’t have conflicting schedules because we were together all the time. I couldn’t be like “ummm my schedule is too packed—sorry!” Haha NOPE! Let’s just say that the lens of compassion was zoomed ALL THE WAY IN. Now my boyfriend knows his way around the gym. It’s part of his everyday routine because he’s been an athlete pretty much all his life. 😒 uhhh yeah So I was like—“this is embarrassing..”

I’m telling you this story because I thought I was so free in this area. Really, I did! I didn’t think I was comparing myself with anyone before. Needless to say, my INSECURITIES GOT MAGNIFIED in that lens! It was zoomed in x1000! But you know what? I truly believe with my whole heart ❤️ God will do that. I know for myself, it happens almost every single time! Here is something I learned—when God begins to raise the bar in your life you need to climb higher and you need to flex more muscle in order to get to where He needs you to be! If you don’t have the muscle for it then you need to build that muscle or you won’t be able to reach the bar!

Let’s take a look at what the Word says:
“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”
Galatians‬ ‭5:25-26‬ ‭MSG

There it is! We have chosen to live this life as disciples of Jesus. He instructs us to work out every single detail of our lives, not just some. We need to take a hard look at all areas of our lives so that we can continue to walk in this life that He has called us to! SIDENOTE: Can we take a moment to appreciate that the Bible says “work out” and “compare” in the same verse? He knew about my struggle with exercise before I even did! 😅

In order to grow we need to see where we’ve been lacking. I stopped being goal oriented person somewhere along the way. I only came to this realization when I began to look through the right lens. Now I didn’t understand this out of hurt or embarrassment. I understood because God placed some one who truly cares about me in my life to tell me the TRUTH even tho I wanted to cover my ears the whole time!

I’ve realized that I’m who needs to work a little bit harder on committing to goals. I used to be really great at achieving goals in the past, but I had gotten completely comfortable with my limits. I just decided to live in that comfort and only focus on the things I knew I was good at.

Honestly I could still do that today but this blog post is about seeing through Gods lens. Allowing Him to expose my weaknesses and knowing that’s the only way He can fill our cup! We need to continue growing and we should all want to know He’s calling us: Spirit, Soul, & Body.

The funniest thing about all of this exactly a year ago I wrote about this same thing, but was still not being a good watchman over all areas of my life. I can’t compare myself to my boyfriend, my sisters, my friends or even my past self! I mean…I have one friend who can do amazing flips 🤸🏻‍♀️ and I’m definitely not gonna compare in that area—I will stay in my lane. 😂

I truly believe God brought the right people in my life to keep me accountable and to be good watchmen with me. We aren’t called to do anything alone. In order to move forward in life we cannot ever focus on things through the lens of comparison. Instead, we need to constantly see ourselves through God’s Lens!

I know the last time I shared with you that I would give my Rhema word!

So the Rhema I received for 2018 which carried into my 2019 was Matthew 5:8

““What bliss you experience when your heart is pure! For then your eyes will open to see more and more of God.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭TPT‬‬

So as I began to deal with my heart I had a lot of good sources helping me deal with what was happening in there.

I began to understand so many things about my self image… I wasn’t seeing myself the Way God saw and has always seen me, I was seeing myself as someone who wanted it all but didn’t have anything to change. There were many insecurities seeping out of my heart ❤️ that I never wanted to see. I was being unraveled unthreaded!

God exposed me in my garden which I didn’t even know I had. He showed me in the secret place with Him that I needed to be able to go there! He so lovingly showed me truth in a blissful way yet it was so painful.

In even tough Season and just every season there are adjustments needed to be made always a lesson to be learned to grow!!! So when I was in this time and God began reveal how and where I needed to trust. It was far before I thought I needed to . It was a time I was falling yet I didn’t think I was. Right when this season began in me God sent someone to speak to me and in my own words “Get up girl I’m gonna walk you through this lovingly yet it will be painful but its okay.”

A mentor in my life Leala Lamarche  ( you may know her she’s poured out in so many lives and never asks for anything in return) sent me this message I’m only gonna share with you a portion..

but she said this :

“You’re more than qualified so be fearless in trusting God’s leading just as you have been this past year. You’ve submitted & allowed God to shape & sculpt to show the masterpiece that was always there. ” 

So there we have Trust again… this came like a beautiful word not walking blindly but trusting by faith that God had me no matter this I felt. In this season I got a “no” and I was looking for a “yes” it’s your time. The “no’s” bummed me out more than anything and yet I still wanted to use my faith to declare it would be a yes but really it wasn’t my “yes”.. your yes may not look like the package you’ve imagined but can I say to you that the “yes” will surprise you like you’ve never imagined and it will be a delighted surprise.

So I want to challenge you get a Rhema for your season.. own what he’s exposed in you and know that it’s not the end baby it’s just the beginning!

Your yes and trust that God has this set for you!

Love you friend!

First the pictures then the Blog!

So then the blog…

I’m learning so much to trust

First: of all to trust Jesus with my life and everything that entails (details 😅)

Second: to trust the word he’s given me

Third: to trust even when you see the promise show it’s head! Like a little sneak peek or even if you’re amongst the promise!

Do any of You understand what I’m saying? If at any point you do.. comment below okay…

So my process: Where “trust” began from the very beginning that’s why this is a series. Because there will be many part..

So it all began in the beginning of 2019 unfolding different areas I was needing to conquer in my identity, in my security, in my spirit, in my ministry just everything.

As I was conquering I needed to stand on a Rhema word but I didn’t have one for all of this so I would just read.. then I got my Rhema from 2018 and wrote it out and God just unfolded that word for my 2019 but unraveled it a bit more for me.

““What bliss you experience when your heart is pure! For then your eyes will open to see more and more of God.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭TPT‬‬

So there was my rhema and God began talking to me about “matters of the heart” not just for a future husband or that kinda Love, but because God cares about our lives. The heart and mind work in function to your way of life! I think I did a blog that talked about the function of your heart. Anyways If I did or didn’t I’ll reiterate it here…

Some facts I got from google cause I’m no Doctor!

What is the main function of the heart?

The human heart is an organ that pumps blood throughout the body via the circulatory system, supplying oxygen and nutrients to the tissues and removing carbon dioxide and other wastes. … “If [the heart] is not able to supply blood to the organs and tissues, they’ll die.”

So like the function of the heart and the simple way it can die without getting that oxygen. Jesus needed to be and needs to be my everything he needs to be my OXYGEN!

So my Rhema for 2018 needed to be carried into my 2019 because all of the areas that my heart needed revival my life needed It. So I needed

To TRUST the process JESUS has me in!

Alright that’s part one and we will continue!

We’re not done here we will be back talking more in more details! Maybe the next will be a video!